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Tuesday 10 July 2012

The Ken Boson


The existence of the Higgs boson and the associated Higgs field was postulated as the simplest of several methods to explain why some other elementary particles have mass. The success of scientists at the Large Hadron Collider in claiming the discovery of Higgs boson has led to a group of dieticians from the Ally555 Institute of Dietary Research to apply for a research funding for the Ken boson project.

A spokesperson explained “Analogous to Higgs boson in explaining why some other elementary particles have mass, the Ken boson would help in explaining why some individuals on a low carb, low fat diet have mass. The funding required would be low since the number of individuals on such a diet is very small. The major methodological tool would be observational studies (it is already known from first principles that the low carb, low fat diet is non-sustainable in the long run). The observational studies would seek to determine the actual amount of fat eaten by the individual and the amount claimed to have been eaten by the individual. If such a diet is empirically found to be sustainable in the long run it will have profound implications for dietary research”.

Reviewing the grant application, a member of Research Funding Committee warned that the members of the observational group should not be of a ‘nervous’ or a ‘delicate’ disposition since it well known that one outcome of the low carb low fat diet is an increasing intolerance to questioning. Again, analogous to the Higgs boson, the Ken Boson is also known the ‘God particle’.

From our Science Correspondent

2 comments:

fibreclaireUK said...

You are being very horrid to a poor starving man. Low Carb AND Low-fat? He isnt nasty, he need feeding!!!!!

Hunger can affect the brain, you know : )

Lowcarb team member said...

The Higgs boson is a very simple concept to understand compared to Kens diet. Low fat, low carb, low calorie but still he has weight to lose. Me thinks he does not know what his diet is, me thinks he does not know what day it is.

Nothings changes with Ken, other than his stance and comments on two thick slices of crusty white bread. One day it’s two slices does not affect my BG, next week, I can’t tolerate crusty bread. What is the score ? We need to be told.

Eddie